Not Crazy
by Swayzee Sweetheart
Summary: (Adopted from XxxAnimaniacxxX) Kendall is sick. People think he's crazy. Well that is exept for one. One day, Kendall come into the hospital spazzing out. Logan Mitchell who happens to be new in town is instantly dran to him. Logan doesn't think Kendall's crazy and Logan proved it. Now everything after that is smooth sailing- Right?
1. Not Crazty

I took a shower and pulled on a T-shirt and jeans. I was dreading Monday morning. New school, new kids, new life. I loved where I lived in Texas, but I'm in Minnesota now. And so far, I'm not that keen.

I went downstairs to the kitchen, where Mom and Dad were already having breakfast. My Dad's a really successful doctor. We moved to Minnesota because of a promotion. "Logan. You're awake," he smiled. "I have something to tell you. Yesterday, one of the other surgeons mentioned that some of them were bringing in their kids today, the ones who want to do work experience in medicine. Do you want to come along?"

"Yeah, that'd be great!" I replied enthusiastically. I meant it too; I've wanted to be a doctor since I was really little. This was the perfect opportunity. I grabbed a piece of toast from the table. "Should I get my jacket?"

%%%

I looked around the long hallways. I was happy. I was finally going to get some work experience. I was one step closer to my dream job!

"Hey, Mr. Mitchell. We need you down in room 5, now. A new patient just got in."

Dad beckoned me to follow him, and I did. Of course, nothing prepared me for what I was going to see. I followed him into the room, and stopped short.

The boy lying on the gurney looked about my age. He had dark blond hair and green eyes. Those eyes were wide and full of tears. There were bright red scratches all around his eyes, and he was really pale. He was breathing hard, and talking to himself. "I'm not crazy . . ."

There was a redheaded woman standing next to him, stroking his hair and trying to reassure him. "It's ok, Baby, the doctor's gonna help you . . ."

"I'm not crazy . . . I'm _not_ . . ."

I heard one of the other doctors talking to Dad, but there was a ringing in my ears, and I only caught fragments of the conversation.

"Kendall Knight . . . fifteen . . . schizophrenic . . . paranoia . . . tried clawing his eyes out . . ."

I felt sick. I watched him as he cried and kept repeating the same words, over and over. He tried to claw his eyes out . . . why would he do that . . .

"We need you to run some tests . . ."

The redheaded woman walked up to dad. Her eyes were also full of tears. "Look, I don't want any more tests done. He was diagnosed as schizophrenic over a year ago. My uncle was the same." She sniffed, wiping her eyes. "I'm had him on all kinds of medication, and he won't eat, or sleep . . . and I just don't know what to do. I only took my eyes off him for one second and he just . . ." she broke down in tears.

I watched the boy named Kendall. I saw his wide eyes wander towards the table next to him. I knew what was going to happen.

"Dad!"

Kendall grabbed a long, sharp syringe off the table, and was now holding it above his heart, shaking uncontrollably. "I'll do it . . . I swear to God I'll do it . . ."

"Kendall, please!" Mrs. Knight sobbed.

"If I stab myself right here it'll kill me, right?"

I hesitated before stepping forward. "Logan, what are you doing?" I heard Dad ask skeptically, then asking me to come back. I ignored him.

I stepped closer to Kendall, who just clutched the syringe more tightly, still shaking and breathing hard. "Kendall, I'm Logan." I hesitated for another second. "I need you to put that down."

He was avoiding my gaze, looking down. "Why shouldn't I just stab myself? Won't that be easier for everyone?"

"Kendall, my Dad's a doctor. He's gonna help you."

"I'm not crazy . . ."

"I know you're not." Somehow, as I said it, I believed it. I really didn't think he was crazy. "The others might think you are, but I don't. And they're gonna help figure out what's wrong with you. I promise."

I saw his grip on the syringe loosen a fraction. "But they can't help, unless you give me that. Now." I held out my hand. For a second I was terrified that he was gonna stab my hand with it, but he just handed it to me. He looked up at me, and the scratches around his eyes seemed redder and loner than before. Somehow, it killed me inside to watch the doctors push him back down and restrain him, like he was some kind of animal.

"_I'm not crazy . . ._"


	2. I Think I Have An Idea

Dad carefully examined all the view s of Kendal's brain and skull. "There's nothing here, Logan."

"Sure you sure" I asked, looking myself. "There must be something—"

"Logan, he's crazy. He tried to stab himself, and claw his eyes out." Dad sighed. "He's suicidal. You saved his life, but . . . we can't do anymore."

"We have to try!"

"I think that Mrs. Knight's been through enough already!"

"And what about Kendall? How do you think he feels?" I paused. "How would you feel if I was the one lying in there?" I pointed to the room, where Kendall was lying down, with some thingy over his head that showed us pictures of his brain. "How would you feel if everyone, including you, thought I was crazy? And that the doctors couldn't find anything that would make me better?"

"I think it would probably break my heart."

"Multiply that feeling by a billion. That's how I would feel. That's how Kendall feels."

Dad didn't say anything. "_Please_, Dad."

He sighed. "Alright. I'll run a few more tests." I smiled gratefully and looked to see a nurse helping Kendall out of the chair. He just stared blankly ahead, tears falling down his cheeks.

"Logan?"

The nurse led Kendall out of the room and back to the ward.

"Logan!"

I looked up. "Huh?"

Dad seemed to find my daydreaming amusing. "Go talk to Mrs. Knight. Ask her about how Kendall's been acting at home and stuff. Just ask her to be specific, ok?"

"I can do that."

* * *

I already told you."

"You didn't tell us enough. Just . . . tell me anything you can think of. I sewar it'll make a big difference."

Mrs. Knight thought for a minute. "Um, well, about a year and a half ago was when this whole thing started. At first, it wasn't bad at all. He just complained about having really bad headaches. After a while, he started having horrible nightmares."

"Like, tossing-and-turning nightmares?"

"No, screaming-in-your-sleep-and-waking-up-covered-in-s weat nightmares. After a few weeks, it didn't stop. I was getting really worried. He wouldn't sleep unless I gave him sleeping pills, and half the time he refused to take them." She wiped her eyes. "I didn't know what to do. I took him to the doctor, but they said they couldn't find anything wrong, and it would blow over, but it didn't."

She sniffed. "He stopped eating next. He wouldn't touch any food unless I made him, and he only drank because he had to. Sometimes when I spoke to him, he would jump like I'd screamed right in his ear. And sometimes even when he stood up, he'd jump and look round, or he'd scream. The worst days were when he would just start screaming and crying for no reason, and he'd lash out if I tried to comfort him. Then the doctor said the only explanation was that he was crazy."

She started to cry. "I had to take him out of school when he stopped eating and sleeping. He just couldn't stand being around people anymore. I had him home-schooled for a while. Even his little sister won't go near him anymore."

I gave her a hug "It's ok. We're gonna help him, I swear."

"And how do you know it'll do any good? What if he really is crazy?"

I stared at her. "Do you really believe that?"

"I don't know what to believe," she said sadly."

I sighed. Am I all alone in my opinions here? "Well, thanks, Mrs. Knight." I stood up nd went back to Dad, and told him everything she said. "And she thinks he's crazy too," I finished. "What do you think?"

"I think I have an idea."


	3. What The Hell

"Dad?" I was amazed that he'd thought of something so quickly. I prayed silently that whatever it was, it would prove to everyone that Kendall really wasn't crazy."

Dad sighed and looked at me. "Before I tell you, are you absolutely positive that you don't think he's crazy?"

I nodded vigorously. "I know crazy, dad. Whatever he is, he's not crazy. I would bet my life on it."

Dad looked a little unhappy when I said the last part. He obviously wouldn't even bet his favourite pair of socks on it. "I'm going to try Videonystagmography. Do you know what that is?"

I shook my head. "No. I think I've heard of it, but I don't know what it does."

"Well, what happens is we put this pair of goggles that are all hooked up with wires and stuff on him. It shows us a large picture of his eyes."

"How does that help anything?"

Dad shrugged. "If my theory is right, then it'll tell us. Will you go get him and his mother? Bring them back here, ok?"

I nodded and left the room. I felt like some kind of messenger boy, but I was willing to do anything to help Kendall get better.

And I still didn't even know why.

* * *

"Ok, Kendall. I need you to put this on your head," Dad said, holding out the weird goggle things. Kendall took them without a word and put them on.

The pictures of his eyes frightened me. They were wide and . . . deep. Kind of creepy.

"Ok. When I say go, I want you to hold your nose and breathe out through your mouth. And keep your eyes open. Alright?"

Kendall just nodded.

"What's this even gonna tell us?" I whispered to Dad.

"We'll see. Ok, Kendall. Go."

Kendall held his nose and blew. The change was instant. I stared at the pictures of his wide eyes, unable to look away. Why make stuff up for horror movies when you could put something as freaky as this in?

Kendall's eyeballs were shaking. Shuddering. Quickly moving back and forth. Mrs. Knight was staring too. "What' happening to his eyes, doctor?"

It wasn't just Kendall's eyeballs that were shaking now. It was his whole body. His breathing had become uneven and shaky.

Then he started screaming.

It wasn't like the high-pitched scream you'd hear if someone got a fright. It was real, terrified screaming. He sounded completely demented as he yanked the goggles of his head and put his hand over his ears. No wonder everyone thought he'd gone insane, if he was doing this all the time.

He was yanking at his hair now, still screaming and sobbing. Mrs. Knight had her arms around him and was rocking him slowly. "It's alright, Kenny, it's ok . . ." She glared at us. "What the hell did you do to him?" she snarled.

I smiled at her, unable to resist. "I think my Dad just diagnosed him." I looked at Dad. He nodded, grinning. "Mrs. Knight, will you take Kendall back to the ward? I'll explain when you come back."


	4. I'm Fine

"It's called Superior Canal Dehiscence Syndrome," Dad said simply. "Or SCDS."

"What is it?" I asked, before Mrs. Knight could say anything. I'd never heard of it either.

"Basically, it's like a hole in the inner ear. A piece of membrane isn't protected by bone. It's really rare and difficult to diagnose. It wasn't even written up until 1998 when Dr. Lloyd Minor discovered it. It varies on a lot of different levels.

"The least effective would be if everything the patient heard was just a little amplified. But there are cases where the patient can hear everything going on inside their body."

I couldn't help shivering. This was probably the creepiest disease I'd ever heard of in my entire 15 years.

"He wasn't eating because he can hear all the sound his body makes when it digests. Noises we would never notice, but he can probably hear as well as he could hear you speaking to him. He wouldn't sleep because he could hear the breathing, but louder. And he could probably even hear the blood flowing through his veins.

"One of the symptoms is headaches, so that explains that. He was probably having nightmares because of all the noises he hears when he's asleep. But, the point is he's not paranoid, or crazy. And he's not schizophrenic either."

Mrs. Knight had tears of joy in her eyes. I felt a strong urge to scream 'I told you so!'

"But, can you cure him?" Mrs. Knight asked skeptically, her smile fading a little.

"We can operate on him, but there's no guarantee it'll work. But, we can try. We need your permission first."

I looked at Mrs. Knight, begging silently. Please say yes. _Please please please! Even if there's no guarantee of making him better, it's still a chance. PLEASE!_

"Ok. I want you to go through with the operation."

* * *

I slumped in a chair in the waiting room. Dad and a couple of other surgeons had started operating on Kendall a while ago. I chose not to watch; I didn't exactly want t see them cut him open. I was worried that the surgery wouldn't make him better I was annoyed that it had taken everyone this long to admit he wasn't crazy. I was happy because I'd been proved totally right. I was bored because I had nothing to do while I waited!

However, that changed as I looked up to see what looked like two tornadoes fly into the waiting room, but actually it was two guys. Jackets falling off their shoulders, one guy trying to fix his hair as he ran towards the reception, the other with one hand holding a hockey helmet and the other reaching down to grab his shoe off the floor.

The tall brunette practically leaped on top of the counter, comb in hand. "Hey, we're looking for Kendall Knight! Someone told us he was here!"

The receptionist looked totally baffled by the two of them (she looked the way I felt) but flipped through the pages of the book on her desk. "Uh, let's see . . ."

"Hurry up!" the other guy shrieked. He was Latino, and smaller than the other guy. "We're really worried about him!"

The receptionist sighed. "I'm looking. You'll have to be patient."

The expressions on the two guys' faces told me that the word patient wasn't in their vocabulary. I finally decided to step in. I stood up and walked over to the desk. "I know where Kendall Knight is."

"You do?" the brunette exclaimed, turning to me. "Where?"

"You can't see him right now," I explained.

"Oh no!" the Latino shrieked, stumbling over to a chair and collapsing into it. "We're too late. He's dead!" With that, he started sobbing. The brunette hurried over to him, sitting down and hugging him.

"No, its ok Carlos, he's not dead . . ." He looked up at me. "Is he?"

"No," I replied, and felt a desire to laugh at the immense looks of relief on their faces. "They're operating on him, that's why you can't see him."

Carlos wiped the tears from his eyes, sniffing. "But why are they operating on him?" I sat down, and was about to tell them when he asked quietly, "Did he try to kill himself again?"

"You know about that?"

"Of course we do!" the brunette snapped. "We're Kendall's best friends! Even when he stopped coming to school, we visited him every single day." He paused. "A couple of weeks ago, his mom told us that we should stop coming. It wasn't good for him, apparently." He ran a hand through his hair, and then scowled. "Shit! I just fixed my hair."

I sighed. "They brought him in because he tried to claw his eyes out."

Carlos covered hid his face with his hands. "Ohhhh...that's terrible...oh no..."

The other guy hugged him again. "I guess it was only a matter of time."

"What do you mean?" I asked skeptically.

"I mean..." He trailed off. "I guess I thought he'd really gone crazy."

I scowled at him. "Seriously? You both thought that too?"

"I didn't want to believe it!" he replied indignantly. "I tried to think of so many other explanations for the way he was acting, but..." he wiped his eyes. "It really looked like he was insane."

I shrugged. "I guess I can't blame you. But he's not crazy. He's just sick. They're trying to make him better."

Carlos looked at me. "Are you new around here?"

"Uh...yeah."

"You wanna be friends?" Carlos beamed.

"Er...sure?"

"Yay!" Carlos grinned, slapping his helmet. "We're a foursome now!"

Okaayyy. Although I'm kind of surprised with this random invitation to be friends with them, I'm glad of it. Although these two seem totally nuts, I think they could be great friends.

"So, what's your name, then?" the brunette asked.

"Logan. What's yours?"

"James," he smiled. "So, what's wrong with Kendall, anyway?"

I explained SCDS to them as best I could, and they looked horrified. I wasn't surprised.

"Logan!" I looked up to see Dad across the room. "We finished the surgery. He should wake up in a few minutes."

I jumped up. "You two come as well, yeah?" They both leaped up too and ran after me. We dashed into the ward and over to the bed.

Kendall was lying in the bed, eyes shut. For the first time since I'd seen him, he looked totally relaxed. I saw a small line of stitches along his left ear. James bent over him. "What did they do?"

"They operated on his ear. That's where the problem was."

Carlos suddenly jumped a foot in the air and pointed. "Hey! He's moving!"

We all looked and saw his hand moving, straight up to the left side of his head as he opened his eyes. Her looked up at everyone standing around him. "James? Carlos?"

"We're here, pal," Carlos grinned.

"Kendall, how do you feel?" I asked carefully.

"I'm . . . ok." His face cleared, and he smiled suddenly. "I'm ok!"

Mrs. Knight burst into tears and hugged him tightly. Dad turned to her and smile." Mrs. Knight, we might keep him here for an hour or something, just to be safe. Is that alright with you?"

She nodded. "I'll go pick up his sister from school, and then I'll come back and collect him."

She kissed Kendall on the forehead and straightened up. "I'll see you later ok?" she smiled. He nodded and watched her leave.

Dad walked to the door too. "I'll leave you to it, then."

A first there was total silence. Then James and Carlos leaped on top of Kendall, practically strangling him.

"Kendall, man! You nearly scared us to death!"

"We were so worried about you!"

I just stood there, watching them. Then he looked at me, and smiled. "What, I don't get a hug from my doctor?"

I grinned and hugged him too. "He's our new best friend!" Carlos beamed as I straightened up.

Kendall raised his eyebrows. "Carlos, did you even give him a choice?"

"I didn't need one," I shrugged. "I'm new around here. I'd love to have friends on my first day of school."

We talked for another while, about our interests and stuff. They were three hockey players with a habit of getting into trouble. "Do you like hockey?" Kendall asked.

"I've never played, but I watch it on TV all the time."

"Kendall?" We all looked around at the door. There was a small girl standing at the door next to Mrs. Knight. She must have been his sister.

He grinned at her, but I could see he was nervous. Mrs. Knight told me that she'd become too scared to go near him. "Hi, Katie."

She sniffed, and ran at him, throwing her arms around him. "Are you . . . ok now?"

"I'm fine."


	5. We'll Get Through This Together

I gripped the strap of my backpack so hard my knuckles hurt. I was terrified that the kids at this school were gonna call me a nerd, or make fun of me, or . . .

_**Ding dong!**_

_SHIT!_ I looked out my bedroom window.

I ran down the stairs and opened the front door. "Hi . . . um, I dunno if I can go to school. I feel really sick, and I fell down the stairs, and we're in a recession, and . . ."

"Nice try!" James grabbed my arm and pulled me out the front door. Carlos shut it behind me. "You can't skip your first day! It's not a good start. But, feel free to skip the second day if you want!"

"Guys, I'm terrified! What if they all hate me?" I demanded as they dragged me down the road.

"Relax; they're cool with new kids. Better than most schools, I think. Besides," Carlos looked at me as we stopped outside Kendall's house. "I bet Kendall's nervous too. When he stopped coming to school, everyone kept asking us what was going on. It was a huge mystery. People are still wondering what happened, and it's been over a year!"

James looked up at one of the upstairs windows. "Hey!" he yelled. "Ken-doll! Get down here!"

Kendall's head appeared at the open window. "That's not my name!" he shouted back. James just laughed.

Then he was met with a science textbook in the face. He fell on the floor. "Ow, dude!"

A couple of seconds later, the front door opened. Kendall walked out, laughing. "I told you to stop calling me Ken-doll, didn't I?"

"You damaged my beautiful face! Do you realise what this means?"

"Girls won't like you anymore?" Carlos asked.

"No." James wiggled his fingers, glaring at Kendall. "I'm gonna tickle you until l you fucking split in half!"

Kendall picked up his book and ran. James dashed after him screaming many swear words as he eventually tackled Kendal onto the grass.

"Help!" Kendall shrieked, laughing hysterically.

I couldn't help laughing too. Maybe these three guys were lunatics, but they were definitely more fun than my math club friends back in Texas.

Carlos grabbed James's arm and pulled him off Kendall. "C'mon, Jamie. We're gonna be late." Kendall stood up and brushed the grass off his clothes.

"Carlitos is right again! And I'm pretty sure that Logan doesn't want to be late on his first day of school."

"Actually, I wouldn't complain too much," I sighed.

"Aw. Don't be nervous, man. You'll do fine," Kendall grinned at me.

As the school came into sight, I felt my knees shaking. "Ohhhh, I'm gonna throw up!"

"No, you're not. C'mon, we'll go to the secretary's office since neither of us knows where we're going." He grabbed my arm and led me to the office. I felt myself blushing at the contact. _What the heck?_

I knocked on the door. "Come in."

We both went in. The secretary looked up, pushing a strand of red hair out of her face. "Kendall Knight! I wasn't sure I'd ever see you here again!"

"Nice to see you, Miss Martin. I've got a new guy with me."

"Ok." Miss Martin's eyes scanned over a list of names on her desk, and then looked up at me. "So, you're Logan Mitchell. From Texas, is that right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, nice to meet you. I hope you settle in quickly. Now, Kendall, I take it you don't know where to go either. Otherwise you would've left by now."

"Yeah, I haven't been here since freshman year, so I'm kinda lost."

"Alright . . . normally you'd go to homeroom, but it's the middle of the semester, so there's not much point for today." She opened the drawer of her desk, fumbling around for something. She took out two sheets of paper. "Class timetables. And locker numbers. The lockers are new, so they don't have combinations yet. I think you have most classes together today, so stick together. You'll be fine."

"Thanks, Miss Martin." We left the office and walked down the hallway until we found our lockers. "So," I murmured, fiddling with the lock before opening the locker and putting my backpack in. "What's next?"

Kendall did the same with his backpack and looked at his timetable. "I have US history next. Do you?"

"Yeah."

I was actually feeling perfectly calm, but then the bell rang and I panicked. "Oh no!"

"Relax!" Kendall laughed, but I could see that he was nervous too. I watched as crowds of students came bustling out of Homeroom. There was loud chatter everywhere, then I saw a guy spot us and stop. "Kendall?"

The sudden silence was seriously unnerving. Then someone cheered. Suddenly we were surrounded by kids, all of them greeting Kendall and asking him all sorts of questions.

"Kendall, we missed you!"

"Where've you been, man?"

"What happened to your eyes?"

"Are you gonna join the hockey team again? We were crushed in last year's League without you!"

"Who's the new kid?"

That last one nearly made me collapse. Oh _no_. "Guys," Kendall began, addressing all the girls and guys around them. "This is Logan Mitchell. He's a friend of mine, and he just started here."

Then they were all greeting _me_. I felt like flying, because Carlos had been right; they _were_ nice.

"Hey Logan, how you doing?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Where're you from?"

"Do you play hockey too?"

I tried to answer all of them, but I was so baffled by all the attention that I barely knew who I was talking to. Then the bell rang again, and the crowds dispersed. Kendall and I grabbed our history stuff and walked down the hallway.

"See, Logan? They like you."

"Only because they like you! Seriously, they were like adoring fans!"

"Nah. They're friends, not fans. I guess the whole thing with last year confused them a little."

"Didn't they just assume you'd moved away?"

"This place is small. When someone leaves or moves in, you know about it."

"Ah. Alright."

The first classes didn't turn out as badly as I'd expected. People were friendly, the teachers were ok, and by the time lunchtime came I almost felt like I belonged. But I knew that there was one large piece of the High School community that I hadn't come face to face with yet. I told Kendall I was going to my locker to get my iPod, and he left me to it. I was walking to my locker when I felt myself being slammed against the wall. _Ow . . . _Yep, there it was. The school bullies.

"Hey, new kid!"

I looked at the two huge guys standing in front of me. The two houses, the two dinosaurs, the freaking mountains. Ok, they weren't that big, but they were bigger than me, and there were two of them.

"You got any money, new kid?"

They were trying to take my lunch money? Seriously? Of all the ridiculous, predictable things for a bully to do—

But the first guy was slamming me against the wall again, and it hurt. The other guy was jeering at me, although I still couldn't believe they were actually trying to take me lunch money, of all things.

"Hey!"

I looked at Kendall, who was standing there, glaring at them. "Back off, you two. Leave him alone!"

"You gonna make us, _Knight_?" the first guy asked, slamming me against the wall again._ Ow._

"Maybe I will," he replied, taking a step towards them.

I could see fear in the two elephants' eyes. They were scared of him? Ok, they were official the worst school bullies ever. I saw something flash in the second guy's eyes. He decided to go for a very unexpected comeback.

"Where were you last year, Knight? I heard you were locked in a mental asylum!"

I saw the look on Kendall's face. I could suddenly hear his voice in my head all over again. _"I'm not crazy . . ."_

"I . . . I don't know what you're talking about," Kendall said shakily.

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about!" The guy stepped closer to him. Kendall almost looked like he'd got smaller. He looked broken. And the scratches around his eyes seemed to stand out all over again. "They had you in a straitjacket cos you kept trying to kill yourself. That's how you got the marks around your eyes. You attacked yourself because you're_**insane**_."

Something flared up inside me. The guy was hurting Kendall, and I _wasn't_ gonna let that happen. I've never been an aggressive person. I don't think I've ever hit a single person in my entire life. But that didn't stop me from punching one of the Himalayas in the face. He yelped as blood trickled down his face. "That fag just punched me!"

Somehow this gave Kendall the courage to fight back with me. He punched the other guy in the stomach and knocked him onto the ground.

"Back off, or you're gonna regret it." To my amazement Kendall burst into mad laughter. "You don't want to mess with someone like me, do you? I mean, I'm totally crazy aren't I?"

It didn't take long for the two blue whales to swim off into the distance. I looked at Kendall again, and I saw him back into the wall, leaning against it and sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. "Thanks, Logan."

"No problem."

He just looked up at me, and then looked at the floor. "I can't believe I let him get to me. I'm just too weak . . ."

"No, you're not." I sat next to him and pulled him into a hug. "You're _strong_. Mentally strong. I mean, I bet neither of those douche bags would've made it through the past year like you did. They're the ones that are weak, picking on people who're smaller than them. It's pathetic! You can't let them affect you."

"But they were right. What if they go around telling everyone that? They'll see the scratches on my face and they'll believe them." He hid his face in his hands. "What was I thinking, coming back to school? My mom gave me the choice, but I was stupid enough to say I wanted to come back! Why was I stupid enough to say that?"

"Because you want your old life back. There's nothing stupid about that. You can get through this, Kendall."

I thought for a second before continuing. "We'll get through it together, ok?"


	6. You Like Him

The two giant freaks didn't come near me or Kendall again. He was feeling a lot more confident now, and after about a week, it was like he'd never left school. And it was like I'd always been there.

Everyone treated me well; I had tons of friends, but I wasn't as close to any of them as I was to James, Carlos or Kendall.

But there was a problem. I'd been in Minnesota for three months at this point, and I knew what was happening. I felt more than friendship for Kendall. I tried to stop it happening, but I couldn't, and soon he was the only person ever on my mind. He ruled over everything, even school, which had always been my top priority.

Well, not anymore. Now every inch of my brain was taken over by the handsome blonde boy with the gorgeous eyes that actually scared me a little the first time I met him. I was good at hiding my feelings; acting like I saw him as nothing more than a really good friend, which he was.

What especially annoyed me was that a lot of girls seemed to like me and the rest of the guys. Well, they didn't like Carlos much. This was why Carlos and I would often spend weekends together if James and Kendall were both out on dates. I liked the guy a lot; he was fun. And he was a lot smarter than I expected.

One night we were at his house, watching TV, when he asked me. "So, how come you didn't go out with Lauren? She's cute, and she obviously likes you."

"Uh . . . well, I prefer to spend the weekend with my friends than with a girl."

"You're gay, aren't you?"

I stared at him in shock. "What? Why would you—"

"And you like Kendall, don't you?"

"Carlos, why would you think that I like Kendall?" I demanded.

"The way you look at him. The way you look at the girls who talk to him like they're a threat. The way you—"

"Ok, I get it!" I sighed. "And you're right; I like him. A lot."

Carlos nodded in satisfaction. "I knew it."

"It doesn't bother you at all?" I asked.

"No way." Carlos grinned at me. "You know, Kendall needs someone to look after him. I think you're perfect for the job."

I couldn't help grinning. "Glad you think so." I picked my backpack off the floor. "I brought _The Hangover_. Do you wanna watch it?"

I felt good that Carlos knew. It made me feel better, even though I knew I couldn't act on my feelings.

Then one day at hockey practice a week later, everything changed.

* * *

"Logan!" I crashed into the barrier, whimpering in pain as I landed on the ice. Kendall skated over to me, bending down and hauling me up by the arm. "You ok, man?"

"I'm fine," I murmured. "I just wish I could get it right. There's no way I'm gonna be any good at our next game if I don't get better!"

Kendall smiled at me from under his helmet. "Do you want me to help you? Maybe tomorrow after school?"

"Uh, ok. That'd be great."

"Ok." Kendall grinned at me. "Meet me here tomorrow, alright?"

I nodded, careful not to seem too enthusiastic.

"Knight! Mitchell! Get back in the game!" We both rolled our eyes at each other and skated back amongst the other players.

The next day, I headed straight to the school rink. I saw Kendall sitting in the stands, waiting for me. He spotted me and got up. "Hey! Do you wanna get started?"

"Yeah, let's do it," I replied, setting my backpack down. Once we got on the ice, I was already nervous. Kendall skated up next to me. "You ready?"

"We don't have protective gear on," I said nervously. "You sure this is a good idea?"

"We'll be careful. We're only here to help you with your skating, anyway." I nodded slowly. "Hold onto my jacket?" I took hold of it and he started skating. He pulled me along with him as he skated, me gliding along behind him, totally at ease.

Then I slipped. My feet slid forward and I lost my balance, taking Kendall down with me as my legs got tangled in his. We toppled over, rolling and crashing off the barrier. "I'm sorry," I gasped, feeling relief wash over me when I realized that I hadn't broken anything. "Are you ok?"

"Fine," Kendall replied, laughing a little. I then realised just how close we actually were. Kendall's back was against the barrier, and I was lying half on top of him, half next to him. We both stared at each other for what seemed like hours. I couldn't help myself; I leaned forward so that my lips were just millimetres away from touching his.

"Logan?" he whispered. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know," I replied quietly, feeling my face go bright red. "I just . . . I want to kiss you," I finished quietly, looking away. Now I'm totally doomed. He's never going to talk to me again.

"Then kiss me."

I looked at him, not sure if I heard right. Then I decided not to check, smashing my mouth against his, pulling both of us up into a sitting position. Kendall's fingers were tangled in my hair as I pressed up closer to him so there was no space between our bodies. The kiss got more passionate, our tongues pressing against each other.

"Hey, guys! Are you here?"

Our heads both snapped towards the door. James was there, looking around. He couldn't see us because of where we were. I sighed and turned back to Kendall. "Let's go see what he wants." Kendall nodded and we both stood up. "We're over here, James!"

"What are you two doing on the ground?" James asked, smirking. "Was it comfortable down there?"

"Haha," Kendall rolled his eyes at him. "I was helping him get better at skating. What are you doing here?"

"Carlos's mom invited us over for dinner," he replied. "I was coming from football practice when he called me and I thought I'd just come and tell you. You coming or not?"

I nodded and skated over to him, Kendall following. "I'm still a bit unsteady," I said to Kendall. "Do you mind coming back here tomorrow?"

He grinned at me. "Sure."


	7. A Monlouge In The Stylings Of Kendall

I heard everything.

I don't even know how it started, but suddenly, when my mom spoke to Katie and I wasn't in the room, I could clearly hear it. When there were girls whispering across the hall in school, I could hear them too. And I didn't like it. It scared me. I didn't tell James or Carlos. They'd probably think it was nothing, or else they'd make jokes about me turning into some kind of mutation-superhero.

I didn't feel super.

It was after about a month of this that the headaches started. They were piercing and excruciating, like migraine. I got them in the morning, during the afternoon, and at night. Sometimes it was so bad I couldn't sleep, or during the day I'd ditch school because there was no point in going when the only thing running through my mind was _Headache, headache . . ._ My mom found out after a little while, but instead of getting annoyed with me, she got worried. She was sympathetic, and said it would probably stop soon.

It didn't.

The nightmares came next. After waking up, I could never remember what they were about. All I knew was that they scared the shit out of me. They had me waking up in the middle of the night, screaming like some chick in a horror movie. A lot of the time I'd feel myself been shaken awake and would open my eyes to see my mom's terrified face above me. She would frantically ask me what was wrong, and what kind of nightmares I had. I told her I didn't remember, and she left it at that. But then it didn't stop, so then she got worried. She took me to the doctor, but she couldn't find anything wrong with me. I thought plenty was wrong, but I didn't say so. She said it would eventually stop, but when it didn't, my mom worried even more. She tried to give me sleeping pills, but I didn't want to take them. It was only until I started seeing double from lack of sleep and looking like a zombie that I agreed. And this stopped the nightmares.

For a while.

I couldn't eat anymore. I didn't want to do anything, because every little thing I did drove me closer to the edge. I heard strange sounds everywhere, sounds that no one else could hear. Standing up, sitting down, walking, running, eating, drinking. I only drank because I decided it was better to hear those strange noises than to end up dying of dehydration. But I never ate. One day I almost passed out in the middle of gym class, but I still wouldn't eat. I couldn't. James and Carlos worried about me, told me I should take care of myself. In the end my mom decided it wasn't a good idea for me to keep going to school. So I left. I packed up the contents of my locker and left in the middle of class, when no one was in the hall.

I wondered if they'd notice when I didn't come back.

My mom wanted to try home-schooling, but it was too expensive, and I still didn't learn anything. I felt totally alone and cut off from the real world, even though James and Carlos came to visit me almost every day, and Katie and my mom were nearly always around. Sometimes, I wanted to scream at all of them to leave me alone, because they were making everything worse. The headaches, the dizziness, everything. Sometimes, it became too much, and I would scream. These were times where I just couldn't think straight anymore and didn't even know what I was doing. I could only remember it happening, but I couldn't really control it. Crying and screaming when anyone went near me. Then my mom took me back to the doctor. Once my mom had told them all the terrible stories, she asked me to leave the room so they could talk in private. I heard them anyway, because I could hear everything. The doctor said I was probably schizophrenic.

And paranoid.

And crazy.

But I wasn't crazy.

I _wasn't._

My mom became more careful around me, and I knew she believed the doctor. Katie was the same. They thought I was crazy. I never knew what Carlos and James thought because my mom told them it was best that they stop coming over. She waited until I wasn't around, but I heard anyway, because I heard everything.

I wasn't crazy.

But I guess I sort of acted like it. One day, I was sitting at home, in the kitchen. My mom was making . . . something (I didn't know what it was, mostly because it was really just for her and Katie, because I still wouldn't eat if I could help it). Then she dropped a pot on the floor. Everything was a little blurry, but all I could think was how much the pain was getting to me, and how I had to make it stop. I could hear my mom shrieking above my own screams, begging me to stop, grabbing hold of my wrists. All I did was cry. She took me to the hospital because she didn't know what else to do. I was still crying even when I got there, and I couldn't breathe. I needed them to know I wasn't crazy. I was still determined to believe it myself, no matter how unlikely it was that I was right. So I kept repeating it over and over. I couldn't think of what else to do. I just couldn't think at all.

Then Logan came.

He didn't know me, and yet he believed in me when no one else did. When I lost it and was seriously tempted to stab myself with that syringe, he convinced me that he could really help me, that he didn't think I was crazy. I don't know why I believed he could help me when the other doctors couldn't. He didn't look any older than me, after all. But somehow I just knew.

I was right.

He convinced his dad to try and help me. They found out what was really wrong with me. Apparently I had something wrong with my left ear, though I didn't understand what that had to do what was happening to me. They were going to give me an operation, and I was nervous about it. I'd never had an operation before, but I was desperate to get rid of the headaches, the constant torment. So my mom agreed, and they went along with it.

It worked.

When I woke up, I saw Logan standing above me, with James, Carlos my mom and Logan's dad. Logan spoke to me, and it didn't hurt. It felt like it did before. I'd never been happier in my entire life. And I owed it all to Logan. I had my life back, and I was eager to get back to the normal life or a teenage boy as soon as possible. And Logan was in my life now, and I was happy about this.

Although I wasn't completely sure why.

When those bullies bothered Logan, I got mad. I hated it when those two picked on people smaller than them. Then they turned on me, and suddenly I didn't know what to do. They told me I was crazy, and I almost believed them. Then Logan stood up for me. He told me it'd all be alright. That I could get through it. We were best friends from then on, and closer in a way that we weren't with James and Carlos.

Then that day at the ice rink happened. He kissed me, and I felt like I was on top of the world. I wanted everything to go further from there. I wanted him to hold me, and kiss me again, this time without James interrupting. I wanted a whole lot more than even that too, though I was clearly keeping that to myself.

I think I might love him.


	8. Best Night EVER!

My skating improved after one day, but we kept going back to the ice rink. Sometimes we'd just skate around for a laugh. Other times we'd just sit behind the stands and make out for a while. I think I preferred that, though I didn't like to say it out loud. We only met up there because we weren't sure if we wanted anyone to know just yet.

I would've loved to take him out, but if we could, where would I take him? Maybe it was just as well we worried about being seen. I couldn't think of any first date ideas that would make a great impression.

Then one day we sort of came to a deciscion. We'd both pulled back from a kiss and said at the same time, "Can I ask you something?"

"You first," we both said. Chuckling at the way our minds seem to think alike, Kendall said, "You first. I insist."

"Ok. Um . . ." I took a deep breath. "How much longer are we gonna keep this a secret? Don't you think its better just to tell the truth?"

Kendall nodded. "It's funny; that's exactly what I was going to ask you." He paused. "Who's first on the list?"

I thought for a second. "James and Carlos, I guess," I said. "I mean, telling our families is up to us, as individuals. And anyway, I think they should know."

"Ok." Kendall smiled. "James and Carlos it is."

* * *

Easier said than done. At lunchtime the next day, even with only the four of us at the table, I was terrified. I could see Kendall felt the same.

"Guys," he said slowly. "We have something to tell you."

"Huh?" Carlos looked confused. "What is it?"

"Um . . ." Suddenly Kendall seemed lost for words. "I . . . we . . ."

"Me and Kendall are together now," I said straight out, wanting to get it over with.

Carlos and James stared blankly at us for a moment. Then Carlos started cheering. "Well, it's about time!"

James just stared. Kendall was watching him nervously. Then the taller boy blinked dazedly a few times. "This is a bit of a shock. But, I'm happy for you guys."

We both smiled with relief. It hadn't been half as bad as I expected.

My relief didn't last long. Now there was no excuse; it was time to start some serious brainstorming for our first date. Too bad I'd never been great at that kind of thing. In the end, I decided I'd just go for the classic first date, and maybe plan something better for the next one.

I'd been rehearsing what to say when I asked Kendall out, but when I walked up to him, I suddenly felt a little tongue-tied. "H-hi," I managed to stutter out.

"Hey," Kendall replied, closing his locker and leaning against it. "What's up?"

"I was wondering . . . do you want to go out with me tomorrow night?" I asked, trying not to show how nervous I was.

"Sure," Kendall replied, smiling sweetly. "Sounds fun."

"Uh, great. So, how about I pick you up around eight?"

Kendall chuckled. "Pick me up? You gonna carry me all the way there?"

"I can drive, you know."

"Really?" Kendall looked surprised. "That's awesome; I didn't know that. Me, I can barely go straight without crashing into something." He smiled again. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

I practically leaped out of my dad's car and went up to Kendall's front door. I knocked on the door, feeling about a million butterflies in my stomach. I heard several thumps and a voice yelling, "Katie, _I'm _getting the door!"

I tried not to laugh as the door opened and Kendall stood there, smiling and looking all calm. "Hi."

"Hey," I grinned back. "Ready to go?"

Kendall nodded. "One second." He turned and grabbed his jacket off the edge of the stairs. "See you later, mom!" he yelled up the stairs.

"Have fun!" she called back.

"Not _too _much fun," Katie said, arms folded. "Try to remember how old you are."

"Should I be worried that she knows about that stuff?" I said as we left the house. "She's only, like, ten. Right?"

Kendall just shrugged. "I've learned not to question it."

We both got into the car. As I started it, Kendall said, "So, what are we doing tonight?"

"I'm taking you out to dinner." I replied.

"Cool. Where?"

"Not telling."

"Logan!"

"Nope!"

"_Logiiieeeeee!_"

"Be patient!"

"Logan . . ."

"Yeah, I know. You're not a patient person."

"Yup."

There was a short silence.

"I'm still not telling."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Fine."

I would've turned to smile at him, but I was a little worried that I might just keep looking and end up crashing the car. So I kept driving, eyes solely focused on the road. When we got to our destination, I finally turned to look at Kendall as I turned off the engine. He was frowning in confusion.

"Logan, this is the park."

"I know what it's called," I replied, getting out and opening his door for him. At the same time I opened the back door and pulled out the large picnic basket that I had spent over an hour trying to find in all the random junk that didn't have a place in our house yet.

"Wait. You're taking me on a picnic?"

"Yes, I am." I paused. "Is that ok?"

Kendall gave that sweet smile again, and i almost melted. "It's brilliant."

I laughed. "Glad you think so." We walked through the park until we found the spot I wanted; a small clearing of trees a few feet away from the pond. It was pretty secret, so I knew anyone wandering around probably wouldn't see us. I took him by the hand and led him over. "Shall we sit?"

"We shall."

I spread the blanket out and put the basket down and we both sat. "I'm a lousy cook," I said to him. "So we're having BLTs."

"BLTs are good." Kendall smiled. "By the way, no one is a worse cook than me. Once I cut myself on a teaspoon."

"What?" I just stared at him blankly, wondering how the hell that was even possible.

"Don't ask," he said, as if reading my mind.

I just shrugged and took the food out of the basket. We talked as we ate, just enjoying each other's company. The night was cool with a clear sky, and I could see several stars twinkling faintly. Then suddenly I remembered, and reached into the basket to pull out my iPod and speaker. "You really thought of everything," Kendall laughed as I turned the music on.

"One of the benefits that comes with being the smart one," I replied, opening my arms. He crawled into them and settled down, resting his head on my chest. We just lay there for a while, curled up on the blanket. I was really glad I hadn't gone with the standard dinner-and-a-movie date in the end. This was _way_ better.

After a while, the music changed to a slow song. And I had a brainwave. I let go of Kendall and stood up. "Where are you going?" he asked, looking up at me in confusion.

"Nowhere."

"Then why . . .?"

"We're gonna be really cheesy and start slow-dancing," I grinned, taking his hands and pulling him to his feet.

"Ok," he replied with a laugh, placing his hands on my shoulders. I put my hands on his waist, spinning him around. Then we just slowly moved back and forth, no real direction. The position was kind of awkward, what with me being shorter than him, but we didn't mind. I rested my forehead against his, listening to the sound of him breathing as I pulled him closer to me. I took his hand and spun him around, pulling him back in. "I'm not a girl, you know," Kendall said, smiling.

"Really? I didn't notice."

Laughing at Kendall's expression, I ran my hands up and down his back. "You're beautiful enough to be a girl, you know," I murmured in his ear. He didn't say anything, but I saw him smiling.

"I'm not sure whether I should thank you or slap you."

"Kiss me instead?"

"Alright."

The kiss lasted a lot longer than a few seconds. The effect it had on both of us was overwhelming, and we both ended up on our knees, back on the blanket. My hands moved to his shoulders, pushing him so he was lying down on his back, before climbing on top of him. My lips moved to his neck, kissing and occasionally biting it. He was moaning my name as his hands tangled in my hair. Then every other thought was driven straight out of my mind.

I wanted to show him how I felt, I wanted all of him exposed to me, with nothing hidden away. And who really cared if he wasn't legal yet? Well, maybe his mom did, but she didn't have to find out. I was debating about asking him what he thought of my new 'idea' when he got up a little, looking over his shoulder. "I thought I heard somebody coming."

I was about to say 'Who cares?' when I heard it too. Footsteps, and soft singing. "People say I'm the life of the party because I tell a joke or two . . ."

"That's James," Kendall said in surprise, sitting up. "What's he doing out here in the middle of the night?"

I shrugged. But, knowing that either way the moment was over, I figured we may as well have some fun in other ways. "Wanna follow him and find out?" I asked, as we watched him walk down the path, still singing quietly to himself. We walked after him, crouching down in the shadows of the trees. He made his way to the small clearing at the end of the park. There was already someone sitting on the rickety old bench there.

"Hey," he greeted as James sat down next to him. We recognised the voice immediately, and looked at each other in amazement. What were our best friends meeting out here for? We found out when we turned back to see Carlos plant a quick kiss on James's cheek. My jaw dropped open, and I was pretty sure Kendall's did too.

"I've been thinking," Carlos was saying, bringing us back to reality. "How much longer are we going to hide this? It seems silly to wander all the way out here in the middle of the night just to see each other. If we didn't keep it a secret, then we wouldn't have to. Kendall and Logan didn't have a problem saying it. Why should we?"

"I've been thinking about that too." James sighed, running a hand through his hair and not bothering to fix it. "But I'm not sure what everybody would think of us. I mean, I'm known as the ladies' man. How would people react if they found out I was bi, and I had a boyfriend?"

Carlos hung his head. "Well, I guess if your reputation is more important to you—"

"Hey, I didn't say that. I'm sorry." James paused. "Will we tell Kendall and Logan tomorrow? I think seeing how they react will kind of give us a heads up on how everyone else will react. What do you think?"

"That's a good idea." Carlos rested his head on James's shoulder, smiling to himself.

We watched them for another couple of seconds, and then looked back at each other. Then Kendall whispered, "They'll tell us tomorrow. Let's leave them alone."

I nodded and we walked back up the path, away from the happy couple. "I can't believe they're together," Kendall said in an awed voice. "James was right, about nobody expecting that. I mean, he _is_ a ladies' man. I definitely wouldn't've thought this was how he spent his Friday nights."

"Yeah." I couldn't help grinning. "They make a nice couple, though, don't they?"

"Yeah, definitely."

I looked at my watch and in the dark, I could just make out that it was after eleven. "Want me to drive you home? It's getting kinda late."

He nodded and we made our way back to the car. The drive home was full of chatting and laughter, from movies and music to cracking jokes on Carlos and James. It seemed to be only a few seconds later when we pulled up at his house.

"Uh," Kendall said after a small silence. "Thanks for everything. I had fun tonight."

"Me too," I replied with a smile. "Even though we were so rudely interrupted . . ."

Kendall laughed. "Yeah. I guess we'd better pretend we don't know anything when they tell us tomorrow."

I nodded in agreement. "_So_, er . . . since tomorrow is now booked, and my plans are thwarted by our best friends . . . you wanna go out for lunch on Sunday?"

Kendall smiled at my eagerness. "Sure. Only I'm paying this time."

"What? But—"

"Logan." Kendall cut him off with a wave of his hand. "Take me out as often as you want, but I'm not letting you pay every time. You'll end up completely broke."

I sighed, though secretly I was thankful. "Alright. It's a deal."

We looked at each other for another second. Then I leaned forward. So did he. The kiss was so soft, so gentle. Then it got a little more heated. It was like my mind was on autopilot as I ran my tongue the tiny gap between his lips. He let me in immediately, and then I just wanted more. Though it probably wasn't a good idea to do it in a car right outside his house. Anyone could just walk out and see us, and then what would happen? Well, I could picture it. The most likely image in my mind was of Mrs Knight chasing me down the street with a shovel, before chaining Kendall to the wall, or sending him to join some kind of convent.

Maybe these bizarre predictions were why I nearly had a heart attack when I heard a tapping on the car window. I opened my eyes and looked. Katie was standing outside Kendall's window, arms folded, eyebrows raised. Kendall turned and opened the door. "Yes?"

"Mom's looking out the upstairs window. She's wondering why you haven't come inside yet. I'd get out of the car, if I were you."

Then she turned and walked back up the driveway and into the house. Kendall turned to look at me. "See you tomorrow," he sighed.

"Yeah," I replied, sighing too. Then we kissed again, though we made sure it only lasted a couple of seconds.

Then he'd got out of the car and was walking up the driveway. I watched him as he went inside, waving at me before shutting the door. I drove home smiling and thinking, _No way will I be able to sleep tonight._


End file.
